Summer in the Burg: Route 3 Season. Tourists discovered we have a river. Now no one can turn left.

#local #burg #summer #satire #route-3 #traffic #tourists

Memorial Day flips the switch. Out-of-state plates, a tube rental, and the eternal Route 3 left turn that never comes.

THE INFLUX · MEMORIAL DAY +1

Plates from six states discover Historic Downtown exists. All six states attempt the same left onto William at the same moment.

THE TUBE CONVOY · 11:00 AM

A minivan with four inflatable tubes lashed to the roof brakes for a photo of a Wawa. Traffic stacks to Central Park. Central Park stacks to Spotsylvania.

Local

I just need to get to Giant.

The light cycles green. No one moves. You will get to Giant in the fall, spiritually, a changed person.